Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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