Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
