either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
