Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
