I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
