Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
