Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to calm my uterus...
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
