i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
