Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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