Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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