Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I need to stop coming to work sober
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
