girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
