If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
