So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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