great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
splinters make it hard to masturbate
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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