He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
