Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
