Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
