all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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