she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
im holly from the hills drunk
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
