OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
