dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
