he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
