so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
