It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
