Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
