I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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