dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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