i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
