party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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