We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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