you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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