your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
