so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
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