At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
