D3 body, D1 cock
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
