Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
