Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
