forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
