I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
