Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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