I want to stick my p in your. b.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
