Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
