He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have grass duct taped all over my body
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
