these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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