If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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