i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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