Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
