...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
