So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
