I wannas sexs uuuuu
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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