I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
